Well Damn.......I Might Just Be a Psychopath

The Hidden Suffering of the Psychopath

Now I know the title might suggest I'm joking but this is actually quite serious. Its funny though because for some reason after I got done joking about the psychotic girls I've dealt with I decided to google psychopath and that link just stood out to me so I decided to read it. What i found though was not so funny, it seems that I possess about 75% of the criteria that dictates a psychopath and that's slightly troubling for me but at the same time its kind of refreshing. If I really am a psychopath then at least I have an answer for some of my strange behavior.  Now I don't exude all of the characteristics all of the time though but it put a lot of things in perspective for me and at the same time argues things I read in a book about creative genius. Guess there truly is a thin line between genius and insanity or maybe I'm both, who knows, but ill save the genius argument for another time. I will say though that I've always tried to explain to people how I have multiple personalities but they actually help me in all of my decisions. Its literally like a conference meetings between me and my personalities. I like to label them though and i give each of them time to state their case. After I've taken everything they said to me into consideration I then make my decision. For example; when it comes to women its like "The Pimp" and "The Gentleman" takes the floor and they battle it out on how i should handle a particular girl. Is she just a random bar slut worthy of being a fuck buddy or does she truly have potential and i should treat her like a real women should be treated, etc. This is what I lived with every single day of my life and they show up for every single important decision I have to make but enough about that, what I was most troubled by though was a comment at the end of that article:

sonia robinson said:

I loved the illusion the guy first portrayed himself to be - but couldn't sustain. HE is the one I miss now the relationship is over. I couldn't change him - but he changed me in a fundamental way. Now I trust no-one and never will again.  I've spent hours studying 'the condition' - the covert aggressive psychopath being the criteria which fits him like a glove.  I thought I could read people.  But he fooled me. And if he did - so can others.    He knows he's different.  I knew he was different. I shouldn't have been so curious as to wish to find out what this 'magnetic' difference was.  There are many ways a psychopath can suck you into his web of deceit. You learn too late. He suffered trying to bend me to his will - and couldn't.  I suffered - resisting - and later - in recognising how many of his 'techniques' had worked, how much of his own way had been achieved, and my life diminished,  before I realised his 'game'.  A psychopath DOES have emotions.  The regret they feel, the crocodile tears shed,  is at having not succeeded in their intent to control  - and then losing their victim.   But as far as they're concerned - they can always charm and win some one else. To them - it's as simple as that.


I wonder have I done that to some women? If so I feel extremely bad about that, but was it a malicious move caused by psychopathy or was I just being real with the fact that I knew things wouldn't work out and never meant to cause any real harm like that? Hindsight's not quite 20/20 on this one though so I may never know............