What is Happiness?

Well I guess the more appropriate title would've been What is Happiness to Me? Sometimes I really wonder because as I look back and briefly skim through my life I can’t seem to find a time when I was truly happy. Maybe momentarily as a child but things were obviously much more simple back then which poses a new question, does mediocrity and simplicity breed happiness? No matter where I go I always see so many people that seem to possess genuine happiness, so I immediately start to analyze their circumstances. The one thing they all have in common is simplicity; they live simple lives and do mediocre things. Is happiness eluding me or am I purposely evading it? I know I can’t live my life that way; I'm too complex of an individual to live that simple life. My mind doesn't see things the way an average person's mind does so I need complexity to stimulate mine. I try to look at the past 2 years as learning experience of some sorts yet I can’t seem to find a definitive answer my question of happiness. Throughout that entire time there was one instance of true happiness for me and that was with my girlfriend at the time, but that only lasted two months. But did the happiness come from the simple fact that I had someone who generally understood me or because having someone who understood me was something new to me? Maybe both because first you have to understand that to me, "fun" isn't how I define being happy. I mean I had excess money, drugs, women, and popularity but in my mind I still wasn’t happy, I was simply having a good time. But for once, having someone beside me who actually seemed to "get" me was quite comforting to me. Make no mistake about it though she didn’t truly understand me, no one ever will and I guess I’m partly to blame for that. I have this lust to be one of a kind and so I do everything I can to disassociate myself with everyone. I choose to display to people only what I want them to see, so I keep my inner most "self" to myself. Now whether or not that whole relationship was a facade I'll probably never know, nor at this point do I really even care because it did teach me something rather invaluable and thank her for that. But now that everything’s said and done, what should I do? Should I do like so many others do and settle for things strictly to achieve happiness when in actuality I know I want and deserve more? Or do I just patiently wait until I find everything it is that I search for?